So here we are again.
The sun getting ready to set on one year and the beginning of another.
Isn’t it a bit freaky how time moves along regardless – regardless if we are healthy or sick; regardless if we are paying attention or hiding; regardless if we are in the midst of extreme sorrow or on an emotional high?
Times moves on.
At the beginning of this past year, I decided I was going to dedicate the year to one word, a word that God chose for me.
I would allow it to guide my decisions, lead me in new ways and excite me every time I looked at it.
I was in such a state of anticipation when I prayed for my word. The thought of what my word was going to be and the power it was to have over my life was exhilarating!
The moment arrived.
God whispered to my heart the word…
I physically felt my shoulders drop.
There was no excitement, no rush of adrenaline. My expectation over my word was sorely miscalculated.
I questioned God, as I do, and asked Him to try again.
It was too late. The word had been spoken and received.
Transform was my word.
I don’t even know if I had ever even said that word in a sentence with the exception of, “No, I have not seen the Transformers because I greatly dislike those movies.”
But you know what?
If I would have picked my word, it would have been one that kept me locked up in my safety box. It would have been a word that sounded fun on the outside but had no depth to it whatsoever.
So, this past year has been all about the word TRANSFORM.
The transforming of my heart came when I allowed myself to actually feel my emotions; to go beyond the surface and let healing happen.
The transforming of my vision happened when I spent time burying my dream for my ministry; letting go of how I wanted it to be and allowing God’s purpose to rise up.
The transforming of my relationships evolved as I rearranged my priorities and how I spent my time; giving myself sacred time to reconnect with myself and the people I love.
I have learned a lot about myself this year.
There are parts of me that I am sad for – parts that I wish I didn’t possess. But I am learning to lean into them, ask God how to transform out of my old patterns of behavior and stand securely in His grace.
And there are parts of me that I am so grateful for – parts that I know God smiles when He watches over me.
What has God taught you this year and did you have a word to focus on?
Are you willing to ask God for your word for 2020?
He has already given me my new word for this coming year and though I rolled my eyes when I heard it, the yearning from within see what is going to come of it is like a little kid waiting to get to play with her new toy she opened on Christmas morning!